INTRODUCTION: Hazbin Hotel Angel Dust, Alastor Air Jordan 1

Hey, have a look at it! It appears the folks at [insert name of shoe brand] who are obsessed with the Hazbin Hotel have gone insane. I’m talking about some very hot, limited-edition, bespoke Alastor AND Angel Dust Air Jordan 1s that were just released! Alastor first, please. The guy’s shoe has a bright red color. Think splattered, I-just-murdered-someone red, not simply crimson. It features an insane retro radio dial design on the side, and the laces are woven with an erratic static pattern. The tongue, my goodness, is stitched with his eerie grin! That object is glaring me down from the shelf, I can already picture it. Angel Dust, though, is something else entirely. This sneaker is quite loud. Spider web embellishments, pink fuzz on the toe box—you get the idea. They also fully committed to the six-arm tactic. There are little demonic hands all over the place; one is even flicking you off on the heel. Yes, it’s absurd, but I have to confess, it’s sort of sexy. 😥 Let me tell you, people are losing their collective sh*t over them. Sneakerheads are already discussing resale values as if it were their job, and Hazbin aficionados are going crazy. They’re gaudy as hell, according to some people, and sure, that’s probably true. But really, who the heck gives a damn? Rumor has it that they will be released in extremely limited quantities, exclusively on the internet. With seventeen tabs open and a bot on alert, I’m ready for battle the moment those pre-orders go live. I’m grabbing one of each, and if I manage to get both, well, let’s just say that my eBay business is going to be rather hungry. Hazbin Hotel Angel Dust, Alastor Air Jordan 1

DETAIL: Hazbin Hotel Angel Dust, Alastor Air Jordan 1

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